Last night at Hawksmoor I drank one of the most compelling cocktails I’ve consumed in my life. I’ve had other attempts at this cocktail many times in the past, but few people have risen to quite this level of invigorating, mind-warping booze action. The cocktail? A Zombie:

Because the grail/glass was about a pint in size, and it was filled up with a remarkably broad and generous selection of rums, I’m afraid I cannot remember the recipe terribly clearly. I do remember that this cocktail bludgeoned my poor, harassed and generally rancid mind right into the correct mood to nosh on top quality meat. And I like sticking quality meat in my mouth. The bar rules allow just one Zombie per person, alas. Yet I can see where they are coming from; if I had 3 of these I would be floridly incoherent and would find the comparatively simple task of standing up to be quite beyond me.

Get down the bar at Hawksmoor whenever you have the opportunity; their cocktails are rarely beaten.

Many thanks for the picture, Dan.

Sometimes you find yourself in possession of a really filthy bottle of Champagne and it is always a conundrum as to whether you can face drinking it. The key, of course, is to make cocktails with it and tonight’s extremely decadent fizz-based cocktail is the Olympique.

It is very simple, just pour a shot of yellow Chartreuse into a glass and top up with four shots of some woeful Champagne that you have probably been given by someone who doesn’t know any better. The cocktail should be a beautiful golden colour thanks to the Chartreuse.

I have very happy memories of this drink (and, if I am honest, this cocktail has also deleted some memories). When I finished my final undergraduate exams I was met outside the exam hall by a lovely girl who was to become my ‘taller lying down than standing up*’ girlfriend. She presented me with a bottle of minor Champagne but refused to join me in drinking it with my wine friends in the post exam piss-up they had arranged. As luck would have it, one of my wonderful friends had brought a bottle of yellow Chartreuse along to the event and we mixed Olympiques. A very dissolute cocktail, and quite delicious too.

Of course, if you want to be really flash you can mix your Olympiques with the truly excellent VEP yellow Chartreuse. This is Chartreuse which has been aged for an unspecified number of years in large casks before bottling. It is smoother and more mellow than the standard stuff. A great drink but sadly quite pricy.

Green Chartreuse is a more alcoholic, fiery drink. When you feel the burn as you swallow you know it is doing you good. It is not really suitable for this cocktail, it is powerful and heady, and lacks the smoothness that the yellow version brings to Olympiques. Green has its place: for example, when you need to be invigorated to deal with lesser people it can really perk one up; a veritable command to go out and dominate inferior forms of life. Once again there is a VEP version of Green which is slightly less fiery and more refined. Great treat to have a bottle of this in one’s home, ready to charge one up should a lack-of-booze-style emergency occur.

Before I finish with Chartreuse (I still have some of my Olympique to finish) I should recommend Elixir Vegetal de Chartreuse. This is only sold in small (100ml) bottles, and described as a pick-me-up that will leave you feeling on top of the world. As well it might, having an impressive booze-quotient of 71%abv. This actually makes it bloody hard work to drink the stuff, but you can mix some with hot water for a warming winter drink, or put a few drops on a sugar cube just to enjoy its herbal flavours. You can also spray a mouthful between your pursed lips when holding a flame close your mouth and watch the impressive ‘fire-breathing’ effect. I am yet to try a few drops of Elixir Vegetal in fizz, it might well work a handy sub-interest Champagne-improver.

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*If you are confused by the description of this lovely girl being taller lying down than standing up I shall simplify it: She was extremely well titted-out.

I had one of these at Hawksmoor last night. It was delish and so I was glad I kept my eye on how it was mixed.

Into an ice-filled highball glass pour two shots of Plymouth gin and two shots of some lovely, fresh apple juice. Top up with ginger beer, Fentiman’s is good.

The gin is an interesting variation on the whole mule idea, and it does work very well. The drink is kept fruity and charming by the apple juice, but the ginger beer flavours are certainly present. It is a good sharpener to have before going to neck a bottle of red wine with dinner.

Since I’ve been reading Embury Cocktails I find myself wondering what are the truly great cocktail bars I’ve visited. Let me think…

New York was full of amazing bars. Merc Bar made margaritas second only to mine; indeed the cocktail list was full of expertly prepared beverages of heroism. On my first night in New York I got so drunk there I found myself being unable to see. It didn’t worry me at the time, but I am fortunate in being alive after crossing two busy roads to get back to the hotel. The atmosphere in the bar is most relaxing, and puts one in a fine state to get newscasted.

Second up comes Bemelman’s Bar in the Carlyle hotel also in NYC, scoring top points in both the mind-bending cocktails and amusing drinking environment stakes. The childish frieze around the walls is just hilarious. Some of the cocktails on the list can sound a tad unconventional, but I found them all to be up the the mark in term of booze content.

My third favourite bar appears to have shut down: the Vanderbilt Apartments in Grand Central Station. I went there dressed like this:

I felt sex-tastic. The bar was a fantastic room, filled with people almost as well-dressed as me, all drinking heavily. Hooray! Of course, as I had already pulled I could flirt with anyone with complete safety.

Another wonderful venue which no longer exists, at least in the same way, is the cocktail bar at Dukes Hotel in London. I’ve ranted about how it has been ruined here. This was one of the best places to go to get quaquaversal very quickly and make friends with random people.

My final in this top five listing is the cocktail bar at Number One Aldwych. The service can be a tad slow, but their cocktail list has an embarrassment of drinkie treats.

Bubbling under are: the 1920s-inspired cocktail list at Hawksmoor, the epic cocktail list at the Mandarin Oriental, the library bar at the Lanesborough and Harvey Nichols all here in Town.

It can often be exciting to try a new cocktail bar; the Artesian started off fairly sedately but ultimately delivered the goods.

The bar itself was decorated a bit oddly. The light-fittings were particularly strange, looking like some kind of medieval torture implements. It was also quite packed with tables.

The cocktail menu was pleasingly packed with goodies. We started off with a margarita and a Hemmingway daiquiri. These were perfectly acceptable, but lacking a degree of concentration. The best margaritas are still made at home. A strawberry hill daiquiri was an improvement on the Hemmingway, with nice strawberry fruit and plenty of booze-action.

We had time to kill so we dallied for another couple of drinks. The Zombie was a truly moving experience; five types of rum and Pernod with plenty of fresh fruit juice. This was a recipe for feeling better about life; heroic cocktails certainly make me feel better. An Artesian punch was our last effort, quite delicious it was too. Again, a booze-laced drink was much better than the first two cocktails.

Overall, a pretty good bar, especially if you chose cocktails with plenty of booze. It was a touch pricey, with our five drinks costing £90 (including service), but we shall return.

Contact details on their website.

The hotel Number One Aldwych is two minutes away from where the partner works; I can go and prop up their bar, knocking back a drinkie or two whilst he busts out of work.

They have a wide range of cocktails on offer, which are not frighteningly expensive for a bar in such a good location. The bar is pleasingly decorated; suitably minimalist which comfortable seats. Sometimes the service can be a bit slow. But the uniformly high quality of their cocktails makes it worth the wait.

Today we both had cantaloupe daiquiris, which really hit the spot in terms of being innocuous and fruity whilst being reasonably booze-tastic. Every cocktail I've had there has been pleasing. I recommend it whole-heartedly.

Contact details on their website.

Onlly using the ingredients I have to hand.

Two measures fresh apple juice
One and a half measures of apple vodka
Half a meaure of absinthe

Liquidise with ice to make a lovely appley-aniseed slush.

Dukes hotel bar used to be one of my favourite places. It was certainly the site of one of my favourite things to say, namely: "Two Tanqueray martinis, please". It was a cosy, homely environment in which to consume vast quantities of alcohol and still feel at ease with yourself. It used to feel like a gentlemans' club, or drinking in someone's rather baroque front room; a great experience which I used to revel in. The number of random people I've started talking to in Dukes is testament to its powers of conviviality.

However, the filthy bastards have re-modeled the bar. It is now a vile shade of light blue, the inner sanctum has had a window knocked through into the lesser drinking area and all of this makes it different enough to be distracting. Even the chairs have been changed, they are smaller and less comfortable. I admit, the martinis are still just as heroic, even though they now add more vermouth from a mister rather than a token few drops from a dropper bottle. The drinking experience is not the same, though. The whole place is lighter, more sanitised and not as conducive to heavy drinking and socialising as the old bar. It feels a lot more anonymous and has lost the charm it used to have.

I have to add, I am also disappointed that the anti-smoking laws have come into power in the UK, so I cannot get incredibly newscasted and order a big Cuban to suck on.

I often used to feel like dropping by Dukes to have my mind altered by a big glass of gin, but since the re-decoration I just don't feel the same about it anymore. I am sure I will return, but it will not be as often or for as long.

I really love custard, it is great stuff. So now I am around the neighbours and they have asked if we want to make up our own creamy cocktails I have instantly perfected the Custard Cocktail. You will need:

1 shot Advocaat
1 shot Galliano
1 shot cream

Mix thoroughly and serve. This is so hilariously childish that it would suit being served in a baby bottle! The only problem is, it is so childish that it become difficult to drink after one or two. Ah well...

Everyone else had an additional drink last night; I wimped out. They looked like this:

The most successful attempt (in the middle) was a layer of creme de cacao, a layer of creme de menthe then a layer of single cream on top. It was decided to call this a mint chocolate cream. As I did not try one I cannot comment about their taste, but they certainly look interesting.

Tonight's final cocktail is the Pina Colada. You will need:

One and a half shots of coconut rum
One and a half shots of pineapple juice
Three shots of single cream

Shake over ice and strain into a suitably sized glass. Perhaps odd to drink late on night on a cold day, but this is a really lovely drink.

I am around the neighbour's place and they have just mixed me a rather nice cocktail: a Long Island Ice Tea (aka Liit). To make one you will need:

Half a shot of vodka
Half a shot of rum
Half a shot of Cointreau
Half a shot of tequila
A shot of lemon juice
Coca-cola

Shake the vodka, rum, Cointreau, tequila and lemon juice with ice. Strain the drink off the ice into a tall glass, add a few lumps of ice and top up with Coke. This is a good afternoon cocktail for a long, boring summer days watching the cricket as you begin to doze, the cat asleep on your chest.

The New York Times has a good article about cocktails in London; apparently London is the best place in the world for cocktails at the moment. I thought New York was pretty damned good myself. However, I am vaguely disgusted that Dukes is considered as the second best place in London for martinis. Nonsense, it is the best!

Many thanks to Peter Palmer for bringing this to my attention.

The tequila sunrise is a lovely, refreshing drink that I am sure is terribly healthy as it contains both fruit juice and alcohol. To mix one you will need:

A large glass
Freshly squeezed orange juice
A shot of tequila (Sauza Commemorativo is a personal favourite)
A dash of grenadine

Put the tequila in the glass, then fill it up with orange juice. Add the grenadine so it sinks to the bottom of the glass, you'll only need about a teaspoon full.

Soupy twist.

Tomorrow I'll be meeting a friend who I have not seen for seven years. He works in St. James's so this is a perfect opportunity to go to Dukes hotel where they mix the best martinis in the world*.

Part of the amusement in having a martini at Dukes is the little ceremony they go through in order to mix one's drink. They bring a little table with the ingredients on it next to where you sit. Using a vinegar dropper they put a couple of drops of Vermouth into a frozen martini glass. They then fill it to the brim with frozen Tanqueray. Next a slice of lemon zest is squeezed over the glass and then ran around the rim. You can see the lemon oil in little iridescent pools on the surface of the martini.

You'll note I said Tanqueray, other spirits are available, but Tanqueray is best. I find it such a happy phrase to go in there and say, "Two Tanqueray martinis, please."

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*New Yorker magazine said a few years back that Dukes was the best place to get a martini in the world. I have to say I have never had a better one, even on our trip to New York.

I mixed myself several Harvey Wallbangers at the party last night. This is a drink that reminds me very much of the eighties. The original recipe calls for Galliano and normal vodka, but Galliano is a bit sweet. You can make a drier version like this:

4 shots freshly squeezed orange juice
2 shots vanilla vodka

Shake these together with ice, then strain off the drink into a martini glass. This is quite a refreshing drink.

I am off to a cocktail party later. My contribution will be a couple of litres of Bloody Mary. Bloody Marys are known as 'BMs' in this house hold. They are really good for breakfast or as as a pick-me-up, as long as you make them spicy enough. I don't mix a terribly traditional BM, but they hit the spot.

For a Bloody Mary you will need:
A large glass
Tomato juice (chilled)
Two shots of vodka (from the freezer)
Half a shot of balsamic vinegar
The juice of half a lemon
Pepper
Tabasco
Grated horseradish

All you need to do is mix the vodka, tomato juice, balsamic vinegar and lemon juice together in the glass. Then you add Tabasco and horseradish to taste and give it a good grind of pepper; don't be shy with the horseradish or Tabasco, you want it fiery. Give it a vigorous stir with a spoon and drink. You'll feel better in moments.

Some people add freshly crushed garlic, but I much prefer to get my fire from horseradish. Celery salt is a common addition, as is a stick of celery poking out of the glass for stirring. You can put fresh shelled oysters in the glass if you really want, it is quite nice.

Such drinks and their variations are known as red snappers in some countries; I much prefer the term BM.

Soupy twist.

Whilst in New York last year we had plenty of good cocktails. One of these provoked us to buy a cocktail shaker and try to perfect a recipe for it: the margarita. It is very important to use decent tequila, Sauza Commemorativo is perfect; the first time I tried (quite a lot of) this I was sure it was vaguely hallucinogenic. Perhaps it was simply that I had quite a lot to drink.

To make the perfect margarita you will need:

One shot Sauza Commemorativo tequila
One shot Cointreau (both of these straight from the freezer)
The juice of one and one half of the ripest, juiciest limes
The juice of one half of a ripe, large lemon
Plenty of ice
Perhaps one half of a teaspoon of sugar (depending whether or not you need super-grade raw acidity to wake a slumber-dizzied mind)

Shake all of the ingredients in a cocktail shaker with as much vigour as your as-yet-unperked-up muscles can manage then strain off the ice into a martini glass. Drink. Then mix yourself another, drink it and wonder if the loudness of the walls breathing will distract from you finally getting around to serving your guests.

You will note that I do not have a salty rim on the glass, nor is this one of those dreadful icy-slush concoctions. This is a characterful, powerful and invigorating drink for the strong of mind and noble of character.

If you are in the UK a good source of Commemorativo is the Drinks Shop.