Vie Shot orange, banana and carrot, Knorr
Lawks, this smells like cockatoo shit. It is really repellent. The taste reminds me of vomit from when one has been having too many orange-based cocktails. This is actively unpleasant and undrinkable.

Tomorrow I'll be meeting a friend who I have not seen for seven years. He works in St. James's so this is a perfect opportunity to go to Dukes hotel where they mix the best martinis in the world*.

Part of the amusement in having a martini at Dukes is the little ceremony they go through in order to mix one's drink. They bring a little table with the ingredients on it next to where you sit. Using a vinegar dropper they put a couple of drops of Vermouth into a frozen martini glass. They then fill it to the brim with frozen Tanqueray. Next a slice of lemon zest is squeezed over the glass and then ran around the rim. You can see the lemon oil in little iridescent pools on the surface of the martini.

You'll note I said Tanqueray, other spirits are available, but Tanqueray is best. I find it such a happy phrase to go in there and say, "Two Tanqueray martinis, please."

*New Yorker magazine said a few years back that Dukes was the best place to get a martini in the world. I have to say I have never had a better one, even on our trip to New York.

After my rants about the all-round goodness of low-alcohol wines you may think I'd hate this beast of a beer. I think this is quite balanced, although not really a light, refreshing drink. It is a Trappist monk beer. No wonder they don't talk, they must be too drunk.

The large lumps of dead yeast in the bottom of the bottle demonstrate that this is bottle-conditioned. Good. The white and red Chimay beers are good, but blue is my favourite. Indeed, Chimay Bleu is the only beer that has ever got me barred from a pub. The boozer was in Florence so I don't feel I am missing out by being barred. Chimay Bleu is also bottled in a 75cl bottle with a cork seal; this is known as Chimay Grande Reserve and it is intended for ageing. My advice is don't age it, it tastes bloody awful when it is old.

Chimay Bleu, 9%
Very dark brown colour. The nose is richly malty with alcohol sweetness definitely present. There is some bitterness to the palate, but it is really quite round and malty. The finish shows alcohol sweetness, but with the rich maltiness of the beer this doesn't seem out of balance.

This is not a real ale in a bottle, it is not bottle-conditioned. It is quite refreshing to drink whilst watching the cricket, though.

Timothy Taylor's Landlord Pale Ale, 4.1%
A darkish golden colour. This has a really hoppy nose, it smells really quite lively. The palate is refreshingly bitter with good malty flavours. It may not have the freshness and life of a bottle-conditioned beer, but it is a refreshing and pleasing drink.

I do like my beers to be quite bitter, and that certainly true of this. The draught version is really a significant step up in terms of liveliness and pleasure.

Yesterday I went on a booze cruise to Calais. In one of the large supermarkets we picked up some beer; this is one of the things we got.

Gueuze is an aged lambic beer from Brussels. Lambic is a beer that is fermented using the natural yeasts present in the place the beer is brewed. This is termed spontaneous fermentation. When fresh lambic is very acidic and lively, serious ageing is often required to make it palatable. This version has been aged in cask for two years before bottling. It is far from the most traditional Gueuze one could have; for that one needs to look for the producers Cantillon or Boon. This offering comes from the producer Lindemans.

Gueuze Foudroyante, 4%
Dark amber colour. A sweet nose of candied lemon peel, it is also quite orange-y. It is not especially complex. It tastes quite sweet and there is not the frightening acidity one generally seeks in lambic beers. The taste is very short and simple, it is almost bland. Perhaps I like my Gueuze to be far too scary in terms of intensity, but I find this to be quite dull. Not up to standard.

I mixed myself several Harvey Wallbangers at the party last night. This is a drink that reminds me very much of the eighties. The original recipe calls for Galliano and normal vodka, but Galliano is a bit sweet. You can make a drier version like this:

4 shots freshly squeezed orange juice
2 shots vanilla vodka

Shake these together with ice, then strain off the drink into a martini glass. This is quite a refreshing drink.

I am off to a cocktail party later. My contribution will be a couple of litres of Bloody Mary. Bloody Marys are known as 'BMs' in this house hold. They are really good for breakfast or as as a pick-me-up, as long as you make them spicy enough. I don't mix a terribly traditional BM, but they hit the spot.

For a Bloody Mary you will need:
A large glass
Tomato juice (chilled)
Two shots of vodka (from the freezer)
Half a shot of balsamic vinegar
The juice of half a lemon
Pepper
Tabasco
Grated horseradish

All you need to do is mix the vodka, tomato juice, balsamic vinegar and lemon juice together in the glass. Then you add Tabasco and horseradish to taste and give it a good grind of pepper; don't be shy with the horseradish or Tabasco, you want it fiery. Give it a vigorous stir with a spoon and drink. You'll feel better in moments.

Some people add freshly crushed garlic, but I much prefer to get my fire from horseradish. Celery salt is a common addition, as is a stick of celery poking out of the glass for stirring. You can put fresh shelled oysters in the glass if you really want, it is quite nice.

Such drinks and their variations are known as red snappers in some countries; I much prefer the term BM.

Soupy twist.

I find whisky to be slightly hard work, perhaps largely because I like cask-strength stuff and that hurts. Visiting the neighbours I quickly moved from a bottle of Zind-Humbrecht Pinot Gris to this, which is only marginally more alcoholic. The trick to tasting whiksy is to take the tiniest taste and let the flavours explode on the tip of your tongue.

Talisker 10 year old
A very peaty nose, smells like fresh Highland water. It is really quite complex with lots of different aromas there. The palate is rich and flavoursome, peaty with caramel and smoke characters. This is a powerful, complex and interesting whisky, I really quite like it.

Purchased direct from the Meantime Brewery pub, the Union. A white-beer style.

Meantime Brewery White, 5%
Cloudy amber colour. Very fruity nose, banana and spiced peach. It has a refreshing sparkle. The palate is also fruity. This is fruity, refreshing and fun. Very nice.